If you’re anything like Diary, after a year spent largely at home you’ve exhausted almost everything that Netflix, Amazon Prime, Apple TV+ and Disney+ have to offer. WandaVision is over, we’re awaiting our next obsession – and we may have just found it. After all, who wouldn’t be tempted by a show that combines Homes Under the Hammer with The X-Files? That was surely the elevator pitch for SurrealEstate, a clearly portmanteau-led series forthcoming from SyFy, featuring wonderfully named estate agent Nick Roman and his elite team. According to SyFy, his eponymous real estate firm, the Roman Agency, specialises in “metaphysically engaged” properties, and Roman himself has “gained a whispered reputation as someone who could sell the haunted houses that nobody else could”. Did we mention The X-Files? Well, Roman will be sharing the screen with Susan Ireland, an “enormously successful realtor” and a “realist who doesn’t believe in ghosts or hauntings”. Sparks will no doubt fly. With apologies to Catatonia, we have the theme tune sorted: “Things are getting strange, we’re starting to buy land – this could be a case for Roman and Ireland.”
Missed connections
In last week’s issue of EG, long-standing RICS member Neil Sinclair of Palace Capital criticised the institution’s leadership team for losing touch with its members. “They could email monthly or quarterly updates from the chief executive, something like that,” he said. Sinclair recounted his surprise when he received an email from the chief executive for the first time a few weeks ago: “I’ve never had one, ever! I didn’t even know who he was. I didn’t know who the chairman was either – they never communicate with the membership.” RICS was quick to point out that it does actually offer regular updates written by its leaders – in which case, the bigger question still stands. What is it about its comms that just isn’t getting through to a fellow as long-serving as Sinclair? Another issue for its strategic purpose review, perhaps?
When the Boot fits
Last week it was the Manchester Crown Court list; this time the unlikely source of hilarity is a directorate announcement from retail chain Shoe Zone. It heralds the appointment to the board of new finance director… Terry Boot. Kudos to BBC journalist Tom Hourigan for sharing the news, and adding the extra punchline: “He’s replacing – and I’m not making this up – Peter Foot.” Nominative determinism in action over at Shoe Zone. Putting the Boot in seems like a shrewd move, and best of luck to him following in Foot’s steps. Big shoes to fill. Etc, etc.
Sole-destroying
Sticking with footwear-based retail, it seems that one of our high street favourites has not quite managed to make the most of the online revolution during lockdown. Timpson chief exec James Timpson tweeted: “Shoe repairing is clearly not an online opportunity for us… in the last 12 months, with a fair bit of effort, we have received only 23 pairs in total, across the whole of the UK!” But, as many have pointed out, it might be more a question of timing. Diary has worn nothing on its feet but slippers and trainers for 12 months. As more people emerge from their homes, and are forced to dress vaguely smartly below the waist, they might start noticing those worn-through soles and dodgy heels. Be careful what you wish for, James – you might soon be inundated.
Housey-housey
Diary’s attention was caught by the news this week that London’s first bingo hall – the Grade II listed former Mecca Bingo Club on Burnt Oak Broadway, Edgware – looks set to be turned into a co-living scheme. EEH is the one calling house for the venue, which first opened as the Savoy Cinema in 1938, and we’re delighted to hear that heritage forms a major part of the scheme, with the auditorium to be restored as co-working space. But we’re definitely hoping that the bingo legacy will be embraced in the resi development too – ideally in the numbering of the apartments. Who wouldn’t want to list their address as “Kelly’s Eye”, “Brighton Line”, “Legs Eleven” or “Two Little Ducks”? Why put a boring number 30 on your door if you can have “Dirty Gertie” instead? Same goes for 44 (“Droopy drawers”), 52 (“Danny La Rue”) and 78 (“Heaven’s Gate”). And what better name for the penthouse than “Top of the Shop”? But, since we live in more enlightened times, it may be best to pick a modern alternative for 88… and perhaps skip 69 altogether.
