As the government encourages everyone to go back to working from home, while schools remain open (for now), it may be that your home office is rather more quiet than you were used to during lockdown. Understandably, some may opt for music as a way to fill the yawning void. But, as ever, primary thoughts must be on productivity.
So, what do you go for as your soundtrack for getting things done? Well, whatever you do, don’t play your workout playlist from the gym. OnBuy.com has carried out a study testing 3,000 people and found out that “motivational playlists make you the least productive”, with subjects performing 1.5 fewer tasks on average compared with listening to no music at all. High-octane tracks like Christina Aguilera’s Fighter and Katy Perry’s Roar are just too distracting.
What you want is a “concentration playlist” featuring songs like River by Joni Mitchell Sia’s My Love with low beats-per-minute. Cruel World by Lana Del Rey (pictured), with a positively soporific 59 bpm, is officially “the most productive song”. But Diary likes a challenge. We’re going to attempt to complete this page while listening to OnBuy’s least productive track of all on constant repeat – and to make this an interactive experience, while you’re reading it, be sure to turn your audio device of choice up to full volume, search for the Pointer Sisters on Apple, Spotify or wherever, and click play on I’m So Excited.
Virtually unstoppable
How time flies. It’s barely 12 months since we celebrated Allsop auctioneer Gary Murphy chalking up an impressive 34 years on the rostrum, and now here he is celebrating his 35th anniversary! Clearly undaunted by the world changing around him, he is going from strength to strength, with his team overseeing the UK’s largest online sale of property, ever. 23 September marked the anniversary of his first day with the gavel in 1985 and, as Murphy put it, it’s a “weird environment” to celebrate in. He’s clearly missing the thrills and spills of the ballroom. “Nothing will replace the excitement of the room,” he tells us. “Seeing 1,000 people and looking into the eyes of bidders. But the fact we can have online auctions has really saved our business, and it’s remarkable that it’s functioning in exactly the same way, and getting great prices and strong competition.” Fingers crossed that by the time he gets to 36 he’ll be back on the rostrum for real.
Timing is everything
Diary has always been sceptical about the wisdom of theme parks in the rainy United Kingdom. But since we seem to have actual summers every year – one positive from climate change, until it dooms us all – they started to make a bit more sense. Well, until the pandemic hit. Meanwhile, hotel timeshares don’t have the greatest reputation at the best of times. So kudos to Farrbury and the London Resort Hotels for pushing ahead with marketing a “unique London hotel room investment opportunity” – rooms in the Paramount Hotel, the flagship accommodation of the £2bn London Paramount Entertainment Resort project planned to open in 2024. Adrenaline junkie investors willing to take a 998-year lease of a room “can expect a minimum uncapped yield of 8% net per annum guaranteed for three years with two weeks own usage”, along with complimentary access to the resort, which can be enjoyed by friends and family. Property investment can always be a bit of a roller coaster – so why not take the plunge?
A battle royal
Are you, like Diary, kept awake at night by the search for answers to life’s insoluble questions? Are we alone in the universe? Do wasps have souls? Which is the most Instagram-able royal residence? We have good news – well, not on the alien or wasp front, you’re on your own there. But, at last, the truth is out – “REVEALED!”, no less, according to the press release – and we finally know which royal gaff gets the most hits (shares? clicks? likes? Can you tell Diary doesn’t use Instagram?). We’ll keep you in suspense no longer: it’s Kensington Palace, with a total of 371,000 hashtags (of course, hashtags!). This doesn’t surprise those ardent monarchists at HeatingForce.co.uk, who crunched the numbers for us, as they note that no fewer than 11 royals reside there. Their research was motivated, apparently, by the Queen vacating Buckingham Palace – possibly due to the floods of pesky ’grammers who have struck up a whopping 1.2m hashtags there – and relocating to Windsor Castle. Her new home is in third place (behind Richmond Park), but will surely be on the rise now. Spare a thought, however, for Prince Edward and Sophie – their Bagshot Park residence is bottom of the pile with a paltry 185 hashtags. If you’re in their area this week, please drop by, take a quick snap, and throw the Wessexes a bone.
