It has been over a year since we last featured an adorable hedgehog on the page, during which time – and this is true – Diary has actually rescued a baby hedgehog in real life. Naturally, we applaud the efforts of developers who go to extra lengths to safeguard little Tiggy-Winkles across the country – and the latest to earn our admiration is Crest Nicholson, which has constructed a specially designed “hedgehog highway” at its Hygge Park development in Keynsham. The highway, built in partnership with Tyler Grange ecologists, helps local hedgehogs roam freely at night between gardens, and keeps them safe by enabling them to avoid roads. But it’s not all about the shuffling snufflers – Hygge Park also offers nesting boxes for a variety of bat and bird species, and a splendid sounding “bug mansion”. Plus some undoubtedly cool stuff for human beings, but that’s not as important. Enjoy the hedgehog, and we’ll try not to keep you waiting 13 months for the next one.
Puncake day
When he is not dreaming of lining streets with trees, housing secretary Robert Jenrick has a bit of a bee in his bonnet about their names. The streets that is, not the trees. In particular, he’s keen to preserve their connection with historical figures whose records may not stand up so well to scrutiny in more enlightened times. In January, he took issue publicly (in The Daily Telegraph, naturally) with Birmingham’s plans for such aspirational examples as Humanity Close and Diversity Grove. Last week, he offered a rebuke to the City of London, stressing the importance of protecting “heritage” rather than removing statues and renaming streets. Perhaps he would be a bit less precious about such things if, like Diary, he had weekly press releases in his inbox about how much street names can boost property values. Last week, for Valentine’s Day, all we received was “This Romantic Street Name Can Increase Property Value By £1,172,000” (no it can’t). Batter yet, this week we got the following: “Pancake property market topped with above average house prices”. Ever-eager researchers at Benham and Reeves celebrated Shrove Tuesday by calculating that properties on streets with “Pancake” in the name sold for an average of £430,000 in the last year: 64% higher than the national average. Milk (+32%), Sweet (+9%) and Tuesday (+7%) all did well, but Lemon “left a sour taste in the mouths of home sellers” (-18%), while Butter (-19%), Shrove (-41%) and Sugar (-44%) all fared even worse. A man after Diary’s own heart, director Marc von Grundherr punned: “It’s fair to say that the property market has been flipping mental since last Pancake Day with average property values topping new records, largely as a result of the current stamp duty holiday. Of course, while a love for pancakes is unlikely to cause a buyer to offer above the odds, breaking the property market down in this manner does reveal the drastically different ingredients that combine to create the overall national property market.” Who gives a toss about Jenrick’s concerns, we say. Ditch the shameful names of our past and let’s have Pancakes Streets for all.
Diary needs a PA…
After all, we are sick and tired of the constant workplace demands of having to make our own fancy dress costumes. Architect firm Heatherwick Studio spoke for all of us high-fliers with the job advert for designer Thomas Heatherwick’s personal assistant, which listed among its “key responsibilities” the following: “any ad hoc tasks that Thomas may require eg – vehicle maintenance, going to the tailor, making a fancy dress costume.” Now, this may be hard to believe for those of us faced with so many super-hero outfits to make and so little time, but all Heatherwick got for his trouble was mockery on Twitter, and before long the ad was removed. It’s the way of the world today – so little sympathy for the go-getters. These Disney princess dresses don’t sew themselves, you know.
Quay-VG
“Twilight’s soft dews steal o’er the village-green, with magic tints to harmonize the scene. Stilled is the hum that through the hamlet broke, when round the ruins of their ancient oak, the peasants flocked to hear the minstrel play, and games and carols closed the busy day.” Chances are, when poet Samuel Rogers wrote The Pleasures of Memory back in 1792, he wasn’t picturing a working quay in Mistley. Nevertheless, thanks to the Supreme Court, it has joined the ranks of the UK’s unlikely-yet-official “town or village greens” (joining car parks and a quarry from past disputes), thereby protecting the public’s right to have fun there (see next week’s issue for more details on the reasoning). If the locals celebrate their TVG post-lockdown with a game of cricket, fingers crossed they bring a spare ball or two.
