Retail may be facing its extinction event, and Diary has reported on numerous ploys that have been devised to avert the metaphorical meteorite threatening to wipe out the sector.
The Lexicon in Bracknell has studied the lesson of (pre-)history and enlisted an expert to fight the oncoming doom: the tyrannosaurus rex.
Until Monday, the “UK’s biggest animatronic T-Rex” will be towering over shoppers, and reports are that, since it was installed, the town has been “noticeably busier than usual”, with stores reporting up to 14% more visitors, while one boasts a 27% increase in sales against this time last year.
It’s hardly surprising – after all, absolutely everything is better with a giant animatronic dinosaur: theme parks, business meetings, funerals… Fingers crossed that soon every high street and shopping centre will have its own refugee from the land before time.
Can this dinosaur idea save retail? You bet Jurassic can!
More millennial visions
Last week, we shared top tips for obliging parents looking to make their homes fit for their adult children who will never, ever leave.
In case further ideas are needed, this week we have news in from Arlo & Jacob (a Long Eaton-based furniture firm), which has “surveyed millennials to find out what their dream home would look like”.
It warns that some of their sought-after features “may not be easy or cheap to add” – and that’s certainly true of one room in the house, where 44% of millennials apparently want a kitchen island.
In the bedroom, most are after an ensuite (52%) and a walk-in wardrobe (50%), which are not necessarily straightforward if space is an issue. At least the living room demands are fairly gentle – the top wants are a smart TV and a corner sofa.
But the most alarming result from this survey is the lack of colour in the lives of our next generation. Nearly a third (30%) want a white kitchen, the same number are after a white living room, and 27% seek a white bedroom. This is the stuff that dreams are made of? It’s just so run-of-the mill(ennial).
But, on the bright side, if the kids are staying put long-term, just get yourself a giant vat of paint and a roller, and everything will be all white.
Modularity ensues
Hot on the heels of Bristol’s first-ever modular homes to be developed in a car park… which followed the same city’s first modular homes to be craned into an existing building… which came after the first modular student homes on top of a tube station (Holloway Road), Diary has received word of a new niche first: “London’s only modular commuter village”, up in Corby, Northamptonshire.
The superstructures of the first three-storey townhouses in Etopia Corby were completed in just 34 days, and the scheme’s show home has now been decorated and furnished, Project Etopia has proudly announced.
There’s no shortage of modular firsts flying into EG’s inboxes these days – whatever will they think of next?
A stand-up guy
When Diary was treated by Nuveen and Redwood Consulting to a stand-up comedy show from Glaswegian up-and-comer Christopher Macarthur-Boyd at the Edinburgh Fringe, Nuveen’s director of development management, Ed Webb, unintentionally took the show to new heights. Not least because his attempts to sneak in late failed spectacularly.
He was forced to take the last seat in the house – near the middle of the front row, directly in the comedian’s line of fire. “What do you do for a living?” Macarthur-Boyd quizzed his new victim.
Put on the spot, Webb replied with: “I build buildings.” Cue incredulous spluttering from Macarthur-Boyd and the comparison: “[That’s like] having a doctor tell you that they doctor doctors!” Savage.
Wild about Harry
Congratulations to Savills’ Harry Wentworth-Stanley, whose engagement to actress Cressida Bonas was covered with great excitement by no less a journal than the Daily Mail – complete with the announcement photo, shared by the couple on Instagram, taken in the poetic location of Nantucket.
Well, Wentworth-Stanley is the son of the Marchioness of Milford Haven, so the fuss is understandable… but something about the Mail Online coverage suggests that it is slightly more interested in his new fiancée’s romantic history with another, slightly more famous, Harry.
As the headline put it: “Prince Harry’s ex Cressida Bonas reveals she’s ENGAGED to estate agent boyfriend Harry Wentworth-Stanley as she unveils dazzling ring in sweet shot.”
Poor taste, surely, to lead with the ex when revealing the happy news – but it seems that all is amicable, as the Mail reports that Bonas attended the 2018 royal wedding.
Diary doesn’t move in anywhere near so vaunted circles, but wishes the couple a lifetime of joy.
The best form of self-defence…
As a natural introvert, Diary is usually pretty defensive at networking events – so the latest invitation to drop into our inbox sounds like the perfect night out.
The Property Sports Network is offering the opportunity to “learn self-defence amongst a friendly group of like-minded professionals from the property and construction sector”.
At the event, to be staged at Squire & Partners’ Brixton premises on 16 October, experienced black-belt instructors will guide participants through common scenarios where simple self-defence techniques may be required.
Guests should wear “comfortable clothes such as jogging bottoms or yoga pants, especially for the warm-up and stretching to start”, and the FAQ advises: “Also bring plenty of business cards.” Presumably for useful padding. Afterwards, there will be “go Dutch drinks” for anyone not yet punch-drunk.
It all sounds great fun, but this is surely just the start. It’s finally happening: the inevitable, secret, underground property industry Fight Club.
Diary’s inner Tyler Durden is ready to go. “You are not your agile workplace. You are not the contents of your business card wallet. You are not your ****ing data.”
