It’s finally here. After weeks, months – nay, years – in the making, the planning White Paper has landed, promising to overhaul the planning system and “build, build, build”. The PM has heralded “radical reform unlike anything we have seen since the Second World War”. Cue a frenzy of development, with automatic approvals for large developments and designated land with an assumption in favour of certain uses.
But fear not. The green belt will continue to be protected – as well as your own back garden, it seems. Buried on page 23 of the 63-page Planning for the Future doc, it says: “Local authorities could continue to consider the case for resisting inappropriate development of residential gardens.” A literal “not in my back yard”!
Making big plans
One major aim of the planning overhaul is to cut the red tape, and a new limit of 50 pages for planning statements could in theory slash yards of it, bearing in mind most applications comprise hundreds of documents. As the policy is put, “For major development, beyond relevant drawings and plans, there should only be one key standardised planning statement of no more than 50 pages to justify the development proposals.”
But, as ever, the devil is in the detail, and here’s to Haringey’s Rob Krzyszowski for quickly spotting the loophole that could bury local planning authorities in paper: “Who’s up for 50 pages of size 1 font on A0 paper?”
When I’m cleaning windows
If you’re working from home in scorching August, with the sunlight streaming through your windows, you may well notice they’re looking a little grubby. This may inspire you to grab a bucket and a chamois, whistle a little George Formby, and get cracking (hopefully not literally).
But wait! This is a total rookie error, according to a press release in Diary’s inbox this week. “Cleaning windows seems like a deceptively simple task,” it reads, “and yet many people go straight to it like a bull in a china shop. This approach will leave you with smudged and smeared panes, and a potentially damaged window if you’re not careful.”
Thankfully, an expert is offered who would love to provide our readers with a feature “detailing the best practices in keeping your windows sparkling clean”, which will also “delve into the common misconceptions of window cleaning, and methods you should avoid at all costs”. Diary readers, please let us know if you’re interested in a well-cleaned window, and we’ll look into it.
City lit
Though the out-of-office replies we have received this week from the south of France suggest others have different ideas, Diary has opted not to go on holiday this year. But at least we can visit some of the world’s most enchanting cities in our imaginations, with a little help from several centuries of authors for inspiration. But what to read… and where to go?
Thankfully, David Wilson Homes is here to play Richard and Judy with some city-based reading recommendations that will surely be just like being there. Clearly, it used some of its development downtime in 2020 to good effect, by analysing over 2m books in the OpenLibrary.org digital library to find out where they are all located… and so which cities feature in the most literary works from around the world! New York is officially the world’s most written about city, with over 8,510 novels, trouncing London with a relatively meagre 4,725. Rome, Paris, Los Angeles, Washington, San Francisco, Naples, Chicago and Boston (in that order) round out the somewhat US-dominated top 10. However, Italy’s strong showing is boosted by the news that Rome claims top spot when it comes to poems.
Closer to home, Oxford is the only other UK city to make the top 20, though Dublin also appears. And, if you fancy a three-city break in the most written about locations, DWH has the reading list for you – albeit a questionable one. In order: The Drawing of the Three by Stephen King, The Chronicles of Narnia by C. S. Lewis, and Night of the Wolf by Alice Borchardt. So that’s a fantasy novel set largely in the alternate reality of King’s Dark Tower series, a classic that begins with four children evacuated from London who go on to spend considerable time in a magical other realm, and a werewolf story that does take place in Rome, albeit in medieval times. So, maybe not quite like being there after all.
Oops! I bought it again
Any news of a retail opening in the current climate is good news, but word that a discount frozen food store named Oops! is taking over the site of Preston’s former Poundworld leaves us with one question: would you shop in a supermarket named Oops!? One glance at the receipt would leave Diary fearing we had made a terrible mistake (even more so than usual).
However, anything to support the high street, so let us offer a celebrity spokesperson for the Liverpool-based chain: DCI Gene Hunt, the old school copper from TV’s time travel classic, Life on Mars. In the very first episode, he utters the unforgettable lines: “I’m Gene Hunt. Your DCI. And it’s 1973. Nearly dinner time. I’m ‘aving ’oops.” There’s your slogan right there.
