London, written off
“Which is the most affordable London location for lovers of literature?” Diary hears commercial property cry.
The answer, according to Marsh & Parsons, which has timed its research with the London Literature Festival, may be nowhere, despite the grimy condition of many of the locations in London books.
That Westminster home in Virginia Woolf’s Mrs Dalloway would now set you back £1.4m, the Clapham flat from Graham Greene’s The End of the Affair £990k, give or take repairs to the bomb damage it suffers in the novel.
No, the absolute cheapest they can offer is prime property in Shoreditch – the setting for Monica Ali’s Brick Lane – at a whopping £730k average. Where will the next generation of penniless London authors live and what will they have left to write about?
No great expectations
Brutal honesty award 2016: “As the ninth housing minister in 10 years, I’m not sure I can promise stability.” Gavin Barwell is not a man to unduly raise expectations at his first Tory conference since being appointed.
He added to this no-spin image later when he admitted, while walking along a street in Birmingham with an EG reporter, that he did not know where he was going.
As if all that weren’t enough, in the press vs Tory MPs conference football match, Barwell also scored an own goal in a 5-2 defeat. “An absolute shocker,” he confessed on Twitter.
Fever pitch
The rivalries of London and New York often play out in real estate. But on EG’s transatlantic investment mission a fortnight ago, Diary discovered civic officials are also keeping the competition alive.
Days before our NY panel at the World Trade Center, London mayor Sadiq Khan pitched the first ball at the New York Mets baseball game, as part of his mission to promote London’s tech sector.
For Carl Weisbrod, New York’s chief city planner, the honour didn’t go unnoticed: “I’ve had the pleasure a few times of ringing the opening bell at the New York Stock Exchange, but I’m insanely jealous of [Khan] throwing out the first pitch at a New York Mets game.”
London 1-New York 0.
No cigar close
Meanwhile, try to guess at which party conference this statement was overheard: “Canary Wharf is great but there are none of the essential gentlemen’s clubs where you can go and have a cigar.”
No points if you guessed Lib Dem or Labour.
There are bonus points if you can help find this vital smoking-friendly venue.
Prêt-à-porter
It is generally accepted that developers have a more breezy approach to business attire than their industry peers. But the sartorial choices of one during EG’s investment mission to New York backfired in rather humiliating fashion when he was turned away by door staff at a private members’ club, where he was to attend an investor dinner.
After failed attempts to talk the burly doormen around, our chap was pointed in the direction of New York’s retail precinct and, after a swift rummage through the clothing rails, he returned – and was granted access just in time for the main course… bitter though it tasted.
That which we call a rose…
Under-pressure company looking for a way to shake off some of your negative image from the past – but can’t afford to pay expensive rebranding fees to PR or design firms?
Why not follow the BHS route, whose property arm has flagged a complete and literal turnaround, by changing their name from BHS Limited to SHB Realisations, with Companies House?
This one could work for Mike Ashley too: Tcerid Strops. No charge, Mike.
Put your feet up, Mr President
Much like yachts at MIPIM, stands at Munich’s ExpoReal are something of a “my dad’s bigger than your dad” affair.
The fund management and banking titans had their usual double-decker trophies of prosperity, equipped with restaurants and separate meeting rooms.
But Diary couldn’t fail to be impressed by Prologis, which had a stand including branded Monopoly boards, flavoured water and chocolate and, most importantly, a nerve centre backroom providing a microscopic peer into each of the company’s developments across the globe.
All this served to pep up Ben Bannatyne, the bright-eyed president of Prologis Europe, after a weekend at Oktoberfest.
